The child in me..

There is this child in me
I'm afraid for people to see.
Because she's needy and weak,
sometimes she's afraid to be hit with a stick.
she trembles with the sound of thunder,
and gets so frightened at a sign of danger.
she's small and bleak,
sometimes she's too scared to speak.
But she's also simple and kind hearted.
Sometime's stubborn and hard headed.
She enjoys having simple things.
she laughs a lot when you pull the right strings.
She's sweet like a candy,
somehow too dainty.
She's a half lady,
and the other half baby.
She's gullible and forgiving.
She thinks everyone's just kidding.
She's often not taken seriously,
sometimes she'll take that tearfully.
Momma said she trusts so easily,
but she thinks she's just doing things nicely.
She's impatient and unsteady,
always leaving behind her teddy.
She never fails to amaze me.
sometimes i wanna kill her softly.
Or maybe I dis as I grow up slowly.
She disappeared along with her dolly.
Now there's no more pony,
just me and my being lonely.
It makes me wonder how just time fly so speedily.

Silhoutte

You're like a stain in my memory..

A rather unpleasant dream..

I can't believe this is happening.

I've finally waken up..

Back in the shadows..

That's where we belong..

There had never been happiness with you...

Only make believe scenes..

I used to feel your presence..

Even from miles away..

I used to feel you in my veins,

Every piece of me speaks out your name..

But now..

It was all blown away..

There's no one to blame..

We all know we'll come to this anyway..

You're just a face..

A shadow in my oh so dark past..

A silhouette in my mind..

A mirage in this ungrateful dessert..


-March 26

Ang gabi at ang katulad mo..

Sa pagtapak ng paa sa pamilyar na pinto,

Ang pintuang gabi gabing umaantabay sa aking pagbabalik,

At ang pintuang naghahatid sa akin ng tanaw papalayo,

kasabay ng pagsikat ng araw sa umaga..

Sumasalubong sa akin ang kakaibang katahimikan.

Katahimikang sayo ko lang natagpuan.

Pikit mata kong ibinababa lahat ng mga pasanin sa maghapon,

Hinuhubad ang maskarang buong araw na tumatabing sa tinatago kong mukha...

Walang magarang damit,

Walang bahid ng kolerete sa labi,

Sa aking kapayakan, yakapin mo ako..

Buong araw akong sumabay sa agos ng buhay,

Buong araw akong naghanap ng kaligayahan kung saan,

Ngunit sa pag-uwi ko sayo,

Sanay pagdamutan mo ng kaginhawaan...

Hilong talilong sa maghapon..

Kasabay ng nagmamadaling jeepney, o traysikel sa kahabaan ng kalsadang ito,

Ayoko ng huminto.

Ayokong bigyang puwang ang alaala mo na unti unting sumisilip sa tuliro kong utak.

Ayokong tumahimik.

Ayokong marinig ang puso kong mahinang tumatawag sa pangalan mo.

Ayokong mapag-isa.

Ayokong hanapin muli ang kamay mong dati nang pumapalibot sa balingkinitan kong katawan.

Ngunit pagkatapos ng araw.

Kahit ang mga deboto ng Quiapo,

Kahit ang mga manininda sa Baclaran,

Kahit ang tren sa Recto..

Tumatahimik rin..

At wala na naman akong nanaisin kundi bumalik sa pamilyar na pinto.

Sa pintong paulit ulit kong iniwan..

Sa pintuong walang sawang naghihintay.

Wala naman atang hihigit pa kaysa sa tahimik na gabi sa piling mo.

Wala naman atang hihigit pa,

Kahit gaano kaingay,

Kahit gaano karami ang kasama ko sa maghapon,

Kahit na anong gawin ko,

Mananatili ka.

Nag-iisang katahimikang pumupuno sa espasyo ng buhay ko...


-June 29 2009 1:19 pm

Pantasya

Namimiss ko ng tumipa.
Nakakapangulila ang pakikipagulayaw sa mga letra.
ang pakikipagniig sa tugma,
ang pagpapares pares ng mga salita...

Hinuhulma nga lang ba kita,
Pinipinta gamit ang sarili kong mata,
Imahinasyon ko lang ba ang pinapagana,
Kaya hindi kita talaga nakikita.

Lakad takbo papalayo,
lilingon at agad agad ding susuko.
Daig ko pa ang kabayo,
Hindi pa rin alam kung saan tutungo.

Nanaginip pag gising,
Gising ngunit nanaginip.
Malilingat at wala naman palang kasiping,
Pipikit at agad agad maiinip.

Nangingiti pag naiinis,
Naiinis pag nangingiti.
Para akong pudpod na lapis,
Sa kamay ng batang may sapi.

Pagwala ka'y may nakikita,
Pagandyan ka'y nabubulag ang mata.
Kelangan ba talaga kita?
May naitutulong ba ang salamin namumugtong mata?


Natapos ang tula ng biglang bigla,
Parang bolpen, naubusan na ng tinta.
Isasara na ang gripo,
at unti unti nang bumabaha dito.


-April 12 2009 12: 33pm

Crossroads

The roads might have been rough, but you stayed with me..
The street signs must have been confusing but you always find me.
The sun should have been burning but you keep me shaded.
The rain must have been drowning but keep me warm and protected.


I would really love to go and see what's behind that horizon,
I wouldn't even think twice, I have you as my reason.
I would love to walk on every street, on every road,
Knowing there is your hand to hold,



But there came the crossroads,
I saw my fear as it unfolds.
There, it's where the options were laid,
and decisions were made.



You've taken the first step.

I made the initiative to take the next.

Now, there's no way to stop.

I just can't believe this can be too complex.

"see you at the end of the road," you said.

I guess I'll be walking alone 'til then.

But there's nothing left unsaid.

I guess this is where the path really ends..


-September 4 2oo9 12:20pm

Lubog na mata mo, Gising ka pa rin???

Heto na naman..
Ang isang gabing dala ng saliwang body clock.
ilang oras ka bang late..
alas dos na oh..
di ba dapat inaantok ka na..
Nagiisip ka na naman ba?
Ay, oo nga pala, naglaro ka nga pala..
Ansaya noh, parang hindi ka nagsayang ng oras..
Pero malapit na,
ang kinatatakutan mong oras,
yung minuto bago ka tuluyang makatulog.
Unti unting papasok sa isip mo lahat ng alalahanin,
lahat ng emosyon,
na kinalimutan o pinilit mong sinantabi sa buong maghapon.
Magbabalik, sandaling daraan sa magulo mong utak,
saka ka lang makakatulog.
Paano nga ba magpahinga
kung hindi ka naman pagod.
Sabagay,
nakakapagod tumunganga,
nakakapagod maghintay,
nakakapagod umasa.
Sana nadaan din sa tulog ang ganung klaseng pagod.

Tingnan mo, ni hindi ka pala lumabas ng bahay buong maghapon,
kahit ata makatapak sa labas ng gate hindi mo ginawa.
Nakalimutan mo ba?
Gaano na ba kahaba yang ginagansilyo mo?
At least nga naman,
pag sinulid at hook ang harap mo,
nakakalimot ka na.
Parang droga,
o pag inom,
nakakaadik yan,
nakakaadik tumakas.
Pero hindi ka naman palaging ganyan,
kaya ayos lang di ba?
Oo naman!
Bukas makalawa magbabago din kapalaran mo..
Bukas, magiging tambay ka din..


Yehey! tambay! biruin mo yun!!


Anong oras mo na naman balak bumangon bukas?
Uubusin mo na naman sa paghihintay?
Nako ah..
Paano pag di na dumating yung hinihintay mo?
Nako ha..
Bilib na talaga ako sa yo...




Matulog ka na nga lang..



Teka, naligo ka na ba?

try mong maligo, para mapresko..
Bago naman ata ang punda at kobrekama..




Dali na..


Tulog na!


Tulog na.. Mamaya patulugin pa kita..






takte?! ipagtitimpla pa ba kita ng gatas?????



-April 15 2009 2:07pm

Three letters: Y-O-U

I've tried to find the letters,
and put it in tune.
I've tried to find the letters,
and send it to the moon,
I've tried to write the letters,
so you'll marry me in June.


But all I see is a "Y",
it's just a letter asking why,
so afraid to get up and try,
damn, the well's gettin' dry.
Am I just going to stare at the sky,
as the train bid his goodbye?


I've tried to mix the letters,
jumbled in my room..
I've tried to line the letters,
like in a queen's loom.
I've tried to put down the letters,
but i just end up in gloom.


And then i found a loop in an "O",
and he really set me in awe,
It made me sing my ode,
and unburden my load,
I'll reap what I would saw,
But liking you ain't above the law.


I've tried to cut the letters,
and tie it with balloons,
I've tried to trace the letters,
and mark it on a stone.
I've tried to touch the letters,
but it's already with angels flying home.


and then I saw soft curve in "U",
coloring my world with another hue,
if the heaven will send me a cue,
I'll give you all what you are due,
cause all I ask of HIM is Y-O-U,
I just hope... I can make you happy too...