I am not in love with you...

I am not in love with you.

At least not yet.

But it's like keeping waters from spilling over,

when I perfectly know that the walls already have cracks,

breaking down, somewhere that only I can see.

I am not in love with you.

At least not yet.

Although standing next to you brings me so much more.

And your stare can bring me into this awkward silence.

And your silence can bring me so much anxiety.

I perfectly know, I am not in love with you.

But to keep myself from falling for you,

is like holding on to an invisible rope.

It's only a thing on my mind.

And it takes so much more strength to keep holding on it.

I am not in love with you. At least not yet.

I just know that every second you spend closer to me,

brings me an inch closer to falling for you.

So let's just keep our distance.

Let's keep our hands on our sides, no matter how I wanna hold you close to me.

I desire you.

I desire to be a part of you and who you are.

I yearn to be someone who can see through you,

someone who can understand you despite your silence.

But I know I can't.

At least not yet.

So let's just keep our silence.

If you can only stop yourself from laughing,

or you can hide away your face when you smile,

please do.

Because those things.

It brings me closer to you.

It makes me want you more.

And I can't.

and I shouldn't.

So let's just say.

I am not in love with you.

At least not yet.

But you...

You are someone I have all the tendency to fall for.

But someone who has the power to hurt me without even trying.

So let's just take things as they are. For now.

Let me see you everyday.

Then let's just deal with anything that comes our way.

Maybe one day it will all make sense.

Then, I'll take you as you are.

A face.

Just a face.

That I am almost in love with.

April 2011